Being guided to write on this blog is what is on my mind. Some days are different I suppose, you can't be bothered or you can. Some days are full of doubt about where you are going and what you are going to do. I get these, as everyone does. Today is one !
"Shit".....what am I doing pacing around in this garage for?? Looking at paint, signwriting tools, my mountain bike and my entire life in storage, in a garage ! This is all material crap really, that needs a good cull. How can 1 man need so much shit ?? I look at all this stuff while dragging on a smoke (yeh that's right I smoke, big deal) It works for me in times of doubt. Doubt hay ?????
Doubt...........
Doubt for me only comes around when I'm not trusting. Really, it's as simple as that. we all have these times, you look at your garage full of shit from the past. Yes the past. I have a little saying that goes like this "Thinking about the past causes depression, thinking about the future causes anxiety, thinking about NOW causes calm" So.....if that's the case why the fuck do we all go through this stuff regularly ?? AAAAAh yes, I remember ! Because I've forgotten who i truly am today. OMG, I watched the news last night, and was brainwashed again by the media. Thank the universe I looked in that garage and was told to write some more on the laptop full of doubt AND with lack of trust that the universe takes care of everything...
It's bizzare how the conscious mind is far louder than the subconscious mind and intuition. Its like the newsreader's voice pumping you full of brainwashed shit, it's always loud, and that's what we hear. And the really important ad that you really want to take notice of is like a mouse in the corner.......your intuition. But how the hell am I going to override that newsreader ? And I'm aware !! It still sticks in your brain the next day, filling me with doubt. Its like a leak my intuition, it kind of just slowly filters in and it can take half a day, like today, to realise what you truly should be doing is writing this. I also spun out about money today, what the fuck is with all the "Lack"? How do I change all of this ?
Don't worry, I have so much information in my head to combat "DOUBT" and that's why I'm writing now. If I work through "DOUBT" and release it and let it go, by talking to myself about it and feeling it, it basically ceases to carry any energy. Which is wikid. Its already dispersed, out into the universe, and what that does is allow for space to be created for "CONFIDENCE" and the ability to trust ! Trust that this time spent spinning out about this crap has given me the time to deal with this and understand it a little more. This won't be the last time I have to deal with it either, you will never get this stuff done. Shakti Gawain taught me that, bloody hell what a relief that was when I read it in one of the forwards in one of her books !!! It was like......"I thought there was a time limit on healing" Like an exam...................
Days with doubt, we all have them. Just remember that that is totally ok and as you work through the symptoms of yours that it will never truly go away, you will just find ways to overcome it and make it easier. Now I feel good cos I've written it down and overcome it a bit better this time round and next time it will be a tad easier
Love & Light and here's to understanding "DOUBT" a little better.....
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