3.1 Months !

As you can gather, I'm not done here yet. Today is a windy and cold yet the sun is beaming, beaming a few ray's on me as I type, smoke and ingest tea. 

I think images invoke major emotions within us, hence my migration back to Tumblr. The people I follow there are not ashamed to show themselves and their feelings very freely. They all post wonderful loving things and also things to help you awaken faster. They help each other, they love each other and they don't really argue or judge someone they don't know from a bar of soap. I find this extremely attractive. It seems to be a place where you can go for a little salvation. They don't speak in comments, they just send Vibes that resonate with me in particular. I love that.

Images like the one above. It's completely stunning ! And for me the colours and beams of sunlight are very soothing. And then we have the mermaid, the beauty associated with a mermaid we all know about. Why is it that we "think" that life has to be this fucking thing that is finite ? I'm not afraid of going, in fact what I see here constantly reminds me, that these so called lessons and things I agreed to learn when I came in are almost done. What I see and feel here, the vibration of it all, really begs the question.....who will be around to see consciousness in a new state ? When the old paradigm fucks off and the new begins. We are in transition now, and transition kind of sux, any transition from the corruption we see now and the oozing out of this most unfair and disgusting way of being into "all" being one. I fucking can't wait for this !! The complete role reversal of the assholes at the top of the pyramid, being at the bottom, and the "people" being at the top. Can you imagine the weirdness of having a "bankster" asking you how to light a fire, or how do you get this solar panel thing to power my light bulb !! I can !! 

This is the thing. This spiral......to me, represents how it's all going at the moment. For me it is a spiral upwards. An upwards motion, that if you feel properly, and don't deny your ability, to be a being that has, emotion and an internal and external guidance system. This spiral you will magnetized to. Or.... it's quite obvious, you are so entrenched in the old paradigm, you will go in the downwards motion in this spiral... Never to be seen again. That's what I'm looking forward to seeing. These downward dwellers, we all know who they are, will be sucked down this vortex like emptying the bath. The best thing at the moment is that all of this is happening rather quickly and the momentum is gaining pace incredibly fast ! And I'm loving that !!

Look at these colours (above)......What do they do to you ? For me at the moment, these sorts of greens and purples are so fucking intense. They give me some sort of content feeling, a feeling that it's all ok. Maybe it has something to do with the below picture ? I think so !!!

"eleutheromania" "Mania" being the optimum word here !! Freedom, where does this come from ? For me, it's saying fuck you, I'm out of this particularly dense vibration. This happens a lot for me. I'm sorry but when it get's like this, I have to go again. I'm not running from things, not at all. Because when I go, I've been putting myself through the crap to a point that the lessons are fully downloaded to my internal flash drive. And fuck me, can that flash drive hold some GB ! So many in fact, that it takes the first 6 months at that new space to de-encrypt and process all of it. Sometimes longer. What shits me is people saying you're running away !! Quite the contrary. When you are in the classroom you load the lessons, it's not till you leave, that you ingest it and plow through it all...........Running away !!! Fuck off !!!

Yep, thank you people. Those who don't listen are those who will be asking soon, and wondering why they never listened ! So funny.....................

Normal........................You Can Have It !!!!!!!!!

so.....3.1 Months, what has been discovered ? For me......... "Only do what feels right"

3 Months !

3 Months has accumulated since that day. The day that started with adrenalin, and excitement, and relief, and the thoughts of "Thank fuck that's over" but now.............those feelings have gone and I'm left bereft. 

Yet in 3 Months what has happened ? Well on days like this one I ask myself this question. It feels like nothing, nothing at all except losing the fantasy. The fantasy that was, "This is It".....finally we can settle and be a team and individuals at the same time. I was so full of optimism. I'd worked my ass off doing what I dislike for 3 Months (how bizarre, didn't see that coming) and was ready, ready as I'll ever be for this commitment. A commitment to her.

Fantasy is rather funny isn't it ! Fantasy takes us to new possibilities, love, inner love, and places that are lovely. I think fantasy is magnificent, sometimes it fully manifests, sometimes it doesn't. I guess today I'm in what I call a "VOID" moment, they suck, they hurt, you question fucking all ! So that's why I'm typing, for me, no one else, just a record of a shit vibration that has overcome me today. 

I have events coming up shortly that quite frankly couldn't give a shit about. All I wish at the moment is to be in a place where I can delve deeper into my own crap safely. Some have said to me that it doesn't matter where you are, but "I" need the proper energy and vibration to be able to truly bury myself in my shit and let it pierce every fiber of me. It's got to be a place where I feel safe. This current location is not that space !

I have selected places on this planet that allow me to heal, they're on meridians and grids, and here is not one of them. I don't know what is holding me here right now, I have a car, I have my swag with a quilt, a pillow and blankets, paint and brushes to earn money so I can be part of the illusion etc etc. What am I doing still here ? I have the freedom to go anywhere yet I stay, mostly to please others and yes "my own fear". I know all about this "others" crap, it's been the bane of my existence for many years. Conforming ! We all do it !!! 

So what am I scared of ? I think the "learn" (yes the programming) that has been forced on me over the last 42 years is what gives us fear. Oh no, money, job, consume, tax, how will you eat, blah blah blah. This is what creates the fear ! I've just racked off before, many times, it's fucking amazing to travel not knowing where you are going.....The Best, it's when I'm at my best !!!! Even my fucken psychologist tells me to stop running away from problems. He see's my issues as problems, not me. When somethings vibration, be it mine or where I am no longer matches mine,
I go !!! 

What the hell is the point of hanging around a situation (ONCE THE LESSONS HAVE BEEN DOWNLOADED) for me to process in a "Void" moment

I've just spent a week doing tax, that had been neglected for a few years. It was nice to get it all done and re acquaint with my accountant. But at the end of it all, I was so pissed, pissed because I had given these people so much fucking information about myself like a fucking sheep. When will the system change ? Will it be in my lifetime ?

3 Months !

Where will I be in 3 Months ? Maybe here .........

I love 3's !

Light and Dark to all Beings ......... Peace.

Anger

What's that ?????? You're going out of your brain ??????

Let's hide away !!

People always do this. They put up their shields, they back away, they hide their feelings. Why do we do this ?? Well it's how we've been programmed ! Hide yourself away, "don't cry" it's weakness, it's fucked ! I'm not talking about hiding yourself away from society, I'm talking about your emotions and your feelings. Hiding away from society is extremely good !! I know, I do it regularly, very regularly. And do you know why ? Because of all those people who hold in their emotion, feelings, and thoughts that run around the streets with a vibration that "I" can not and will never handle ! We all know these peeps, they're a complete nightmare !

When will we all learn that "wanting" never gets you to happiness ??? What we are actually doing is pulling ourselves completely away from ourselves ! You have to go within !