What stage are you at..........?

hi...........

The Blogger icon winked at me and told me to put something down, so here goes !

Surrender comes in stages as we do not just let all of it go at once.  I let go a little at a time during each period of shifts I experienced during different stages of my emotional recovery and spiritual growth.  This is why it takes so long for emotional recovery as it occurs in stages.  With each stage, it becomes easier and easier to let go until one day we no longer feel the pain of our past and finally heal our wounds.

Well.........these words are quite profound !

It's very interesting how many people never take the time to properly get over / heal from past pain. You know, most of us will take a cold and flu tablet to "keep going" or soldier fucken on ! These products are advertised this way, because if you don't go on you're seen as weak, you have to keep up appearances, you must keep going because society hates "QUITTERS" What the fuck is that shit ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????//?//

To truly heal and get through the bullshit that is society ways, you literally have to hide away. You have to disappear and work like fuck on yourself to get through an emotional crisis. It's not acceptable to be emotional in society today. Why do we have "DIS -EASE" ?? It's from holding in your EMOTION !!!! Have you ever heard the term "A grown man doesn't carry on like that"

??????????

I HAVE !!!!! F U C K T H A T !!!!! Don't ever tell a grown man that he is basically behaving like a child when he is being vulnerable and expressing his emotions. This happens, and comes out of the mouth of people who are so fucked up they can not and probably never will express their own emotions. I have seen this first hand. They can't communicate, they fear their past so much that all the think about is "now"........"Now" does not arrive without "where you have been" !!!!

Have you ever been called a quitter ????? (BTW there's a shit load of anger as I'm typing this because this is very familiar to me)

Well..................Have you ????? How did it feel ????

You see when I find a nice bit of factual text like in the 1st paragraph I start to write, but by god can it take me into some strange places and emotions that need to be dealt with ! This is why I write this shit........you have to get it out.....fuck this new thing of "The Power Of Now" sure I acknowledge the Now but I have to look at what came before. I believe if you don't you are completely bullshitting yourself.......It's all about getting it moving, feeling the pain, working through it and sometimes doing it all over again "in stages" and then finally releasing it. This shit doesn't happen overnight, you have to allow it to come up all in good time, and that means it can happen anywhere and at anytime. But today we are told to just soldier on !!!!!

Truly..... I hate that crap !! this is why we are so fucked up.....we never stop, silence is like death for so many. I must do the dishes, I must do the washing, Oh look there's some dust on the bench, it just goes on and on and on and on !! Wake Up !!You can not solve your problems by ignoring the base problem that is..............."It's buried just below the surface" I've met lots of humans in my life, they range from hippies to suits, men and women. What I can't understand is when these organisms project and use transference onto people they apparently love. This can come in many forms, you know them, just stop and think about it for a minute. These types never surrender, and never allow themselves to actually help themselves by allowing this stuff (mostly pain) come to the surface. you do not treat people how you would never treat yourself. But hang on...........

This is exactly how these people treat themselves, by being non loving !!!

As is said in the 1st paragraph it works in stages, stages that are usually very unpleasant.......these things are called emotions.....yep those things that "Quitters and Grown men" are not allowed to show these days because if you do..................................................

YOU ARE WEAK ! 

I disagree totally, he who embraces his emotions and his past are the STRONGEST OF ALL !

So take 1 brick out of that wall of shame, blame, pain, whatever it maybe or contain and let it crumble, you never know what you may find in this first stage..............

I'm off now, and till next time remember, we have 5 senses, sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch but EMOTIONS ARE THE NEW SENSE, so we now have 1 more and in my opinion.....................this Sense is by far the most important !!

Deal with your shit.

So......

Sometimes a day can really be a drag. You can often be in a place where you don't particularly want to be. Why do we go through this shit ?? Why do some days become the harder of the rest of the week ?? I'm not talking about Monday's, they're not so bad. It's those days where you are completely over everything and everyone. you don't want to communicate with anyone, let alone see anyone !! For some, while in these bits of universal confusion they just get on the booze or hide out, or just get fucking angry to mask the pain......

Emptiness comes in at this time, and you wonder to yourself "What the fuck am I doing here?" Well this is the time to work through all your bullshit !! Not many I know can actually recognise, at this time, that it is "The Perfect Time" to deal with your own shit once and for all. But remember that you will never get this shit done........EVER! All you can do is manage it. It's like mowing fucken lawn....it's never over, it will keep growing and growing ! And this shit comes up over and over again. So in saying that, don't ever expect to get it all done, you never will.....

So now you know that little piece of nightmare news don't despair...

Just "Deal With It" work through all the bullshit that comes up. This is best done in silence !! But can "you" actually handle silence ??

I find silence awsum !! So much of my shit comes to the surface and I can mow that shit lawn and trim the edges until the next time....It's not easy, but if you allow this crap to come to the surface, and learn how to work through it, you get better at it every time.

And you know what ??????????

Once you've allowed this to occur..........you may actually crave these times more, and that's when you really start to understand yourself......

Open Communication

Yep !!

Sometimes in life you can take a battering. A beating, rejection, the pushing away, from those we thought loved us. Stuff like this takes time to heal. We spend hours analyzing what went wrong ? Was it all me who fucked up ? Was it all them, or a combination of the 2 ? Well, i think its always a combination of the 2 ! We generally blame the other more than we blame our self.....That's natural ! but at the end of the day it comes down to 2 people contributing or the lack of contributing ! This lack of contributing comes in the form of "non communication" Even typing that 'non' for me sucked !!!

Communication - The successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings:

'there was a lack of communication between Pamela and her parents'

 Indeed good communication skills can help successful endeavors while poor communication can stifle and hamper progress

This is taken from the online Oxford Dictionary - http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/communication?q=communication+between#communication__8

So........."The successful conveying or sharing of ideas (and for me) "feelings"

Feelings are the new sense. This sense has been over looked for such a long time ! Why do we overlook how others feel ? To be honest with you I have no idea ! If you look at people, they all have feelings, we are apparently among the very few beings on this planet that have this sense. And yet it is brushed under the carpet in such a big way. As I mentioned earlier, rejection, pushing away etc, they all effect how we "feel", so why do people do these things ? Is it because the person doing this has their own feelings going on that scare them, and that they have trouble dealing with, therefore want it over as soon as possible ?

In open communication, in my experience, these things/feelings can be worked through quite easily. All it takes is communication and honesty. How many of you have had situations where you don't want to do something and you fight it off only to surrender later and it's never that bad ? ........ Well I've done/had that. Yeh sure it's heavy at the start but generally it becomes quite a relief to have started the ball rolling. So all this shit that we put each other through is totally unnecessary !! For me "lack" of communication, especially with a loved one is totally absurd. If you talk to others with an open heart rather than bullshit them and yourself with some idiotic mask life becomes far better. Recently a non communicator was in my life, its so hard to open them up sometimes (actually all the time). In this case I truly did not understand it "at all" I'd never come up against such a closed book.

What ensued was the things I mentioned earlier, and when you are in the middle of all those self esteem crushing vibes you ask questions. But in this case I got no answers, just action ! That's not how you address these things............You must communicate !  

Head ! VS Feel !

Yep...................

Sometimes in life we see things that completely shock us about human behavior. Passive aggressive stuff, projection, pain, anger. 

Sometimes what really shocks me is when peeps are in the wrong and they try to turn it around onto you ! Its called transference. 

I've done a fair amount of work on myself over the years, more than any other I know actually. 

And with that comes a great gift. "Perception" the ability to see things how they are within another. So from the shake of a hand you will know if you will be conversing with this person at the party for more than 5 minutes or not. Let alone ever again.... Have you found this before ? You know, you rock up to the party, you meet some new peeps, yet some of them seem a little odd. Not odd in the sense of strange, but odd in the vibration they give off. And for the life of you, you can't quite work out "what's with this dude"?? why am I feeling a sense of unease ?? But......your programming (that started at birth) probably said to you "Nah, he's ok, it must be fucken me". Well no..............! If you get this type of feeling, remember the word "FEELING"...that is the correct indicator, not whats going on in your head ! 

Whats going on in your head is distracting you from whats going on in your chest ! The real and proper gauge of what the fux actually going on.... You've got to feel whats happening in these situations. You can't "think" whats going on in these situations, the brain is corrupted by years of programming and fluoride and crap like that. Its full of "Matrix". You can't make rational decisions about the vibration of someone with your head ! It's a VIBE that you're getting, a vibration. How can you really work it out if you don't use something that measures vibration ?????? "YOUR FEELINGS" !!!!! Hello !!!!!

No one is ever taught these skills. Trust me, having these skills helps you immeasurably in life. We need to hone these skills so that when we get that vibe we can identify the scale of vampire, some people call them reptilians ! But holy shit that's a whole new post to deal with those fuckers.

Hey peeps, don't be frightened of this stuff. All you have to remember is "FEEL" instead of think, that's it ! And when you do feel...........you will be amazed at the beauty and wonder and love that comes into your life.......

That'll do for me tonight

Peace and Good Vibes

No title explains this shit !!

Well, well !!

I'm so tired ! So tired.....

I've really been through so much shit in the last few months. Hang on, the last fucken year actually ! Working for 3 months straight you go into a disproportionate deluded slumber where you can't feel, make decisions, (correct decisions anyway) comprehend things properly, understand why you've done certain things etc etc. We find ourselves in certain situations that quite frankly dumbfound us. We realise, that half way through a decision made, it was the wrong one !

Why is is that we don't see this at the start ?

What is the lesson we are about to be taught ?

How is another persons pain going to actually be projected onto us ?

Yep !! that's right, other peoples projected pain. It goes a long way to actually destroy a person who is willing to be "Vulnerable"

Are you willing to be vulnerable ? I am ! Vulnerability "makes" you get naked and really real ! you have no choice. 

So.....how does one actually be vulnerable ? For me, I put it all on the line, I am willing to talk to you, communicate about all your fears. I want to know it all, all of the good stuff and especially all of the bad ! The past makes us who we are today. If you avoid talking about the past, how can you possibly be in the present ? Its what got you to now in the first place. I'm so sick and tired of meeting people who are projecting off and out to the world their pain and discomfort in the form of side effects. Such as anger, no communication at all, coldness, insecurity etc etc bloody etc. These are all side effects of pain from the past ! We see it all the fucken time. road rage, couples denying each other of lovemaking, pushing partners away, closing down when someone wants to communicate about the things that are concerning them within a relationship.........The fucken list could go on and on..........

If you don't know about your partners past how can you love them wholeheartedly ? You can try ! But let me tell you, you will only go a certain distance down the path next to each other. The longer the communication is suspended, the harder it becomes to solve small problems within the relationship at all. We all know how good it is at first. We see "all" the things we have in common and its awsum, then as it goes on we then find "all" the things we don't have in common. And what a shock that starts to become !!! By this stage communication becomes absolute key in working through these problems together. But what the hell do you do if communication has fizzled to something that is shorter than a grocery shopping list ? To be honest I really don't know ! I'm still trying to figure it out right now from a recent experience. What I did was to keep trying, but when nothing is coming back.......you have to be vulnerable, you have to ask questions and confront the situation head on. Then what happens is 1 of 2 things !

1 The other person is willing to get involved and contribute to make it better. 

2 Or, they have no intention or desire to work at the entire connection.

With number 1, you move to talk and work through things like adults and be vulnerable, together, and get through it.

With number 2, "You move the fuck on"

So...........now, I'm going to bed. Expect me to be more active with this blog again now, because as you can probably gather............I've just been through number 2 and it sux bad ! Total rejection over an 8 month period.

Yep, I'm working through it, but when you're vulnerable and you open your heart.........sometimes those little knife cuts start getting to you before you know it and then when you realise.... Its gone to far !

Peace