Analyzing Your Itch

It's one of those days. Those ones where you've been fine for about a week and all of a sudden you arise from your bed and boom. You've held things together for that time, you've functioned normally according to society and conformed. But then, there's days like today where you are reminded that the whole thing is just ridiculous. Everything brings up emotions, the ones that are to never be allowed out according to the paradigm in which we currently reside. What the hell do you do ? Well I suppose I could go and participate in the clouded delusion and contribute to the economy by buying a cup of coffee, or supporting my local hardware multinational conglomerate by buying a letterbox from their letterbox section. Or, I could get some cheap fuel as its on sale today for the bargain basement price of $1.23 per litre. The barrel price is rather low at the minute, because its all about to crash, considering gold is going through the roof, but that's another matter. How about I do all of the above ?

Or alternatively, I could sit quietly and work out what is going on within my body, and hopefully decipher what emotion is being held back. After all, pain is just emotion not let out or openly expressed. I wonder what emotion it could be today ? Could it be that in doing all the crap that I do, there is no fulfillment ? No, I don't think so, because on the other days I'm fine. Today is just a "void" day. The "void" days are when your shit comes up, you have no control over this stuff. The only thing you have control over is the way you deal with it. I tend to confront the shit shadow head on on these days. I don't revert to drugs or alcohol to self medicate and reduce the pain nor have I ever. Pain is the byproduct of unexpressed emotions. Things that have to be explained to the self, analysed and integrated. Without our emotional guidance system we really get nowhere. Although, most don't even realize they have it.

Today is a day that sux. We all have them. I've had rats crawling under my skin today, its like an itch of complete overwhelm. My skin is red from scratching around my neck, and all over my head. What is it that is under my skin ??? It's the incessant longing to move on from this current realitymare. A complete and utter irritation from delays. I have not yet had the tap on the shoulder from "them". "They" are telling me to stay put for just a little while longer, but I'm dying. I know perfectly well, that staying a little longer is totally what I am supposed to be doing. Yet I arrive at these times with the utmost frustration only to find myself literally working it all out, while typing or writing how I'm feeling. This process, for me is the only way to look into this shadow void and work through it. Other times I will go and sit in my car and write in pencil in my little black and red books. It gets me through.

Are we, and do we have our own coping mechanisms for these "void" times ? I hope you do. Because for me, holding this emotion in is far worse than typing on a laptop and hitting the publish button. It goes out their, is cleansed and comes back to me every time. Yet while in the middle of it all there is no escape, and I start to type by pushing the keys through the laptop. But at the final full stop, for I know that I have changed my vibration enough so I'm on the mend and onto a different frequency. There's always more work to do though. It comes back late in the day, the itch. But now it's behind my knee's and in the inside of my elbows. Right in the crease of both areas, it's insane. Why does this happen ? It's all about one thing and one thing only, Stress. Do you sit down and work with and through your emotional guidance system and truly work out what it's telling you ? Or do you carry on and let it all boil up into one almighty bang ??