Its 2am in the morning and I'm still up !! Thinking, planning, manifesting. Sometimes we all do this don't we ? I've just been out howling at the current half moon, its rather bright for a half moon actually. I enjoyed the rays beating on my head. It was cleansing and motivated me to attend to my "Blah" !
I've been quite busy working in the incorrect dimension that is the paddock where most reside, full of sheep. What a matrix it is out there. Rush, rush, quick hurry up ! Talk about fucked up, I mean really, what is going on out there ? I've just completed 3 weeks straight with a mob of children, yep children, yet these children are all middle aged and really know nothing of the inner child. All they do is project it all day, every day. I tell you I came so close to snapping, it was so hard to stay controlled while being bombarded with sarcasm all fucking day. These flips never stop and when it's time to be serious about the job the old wolf comes out and cries. You don't know when it's serious and when it's not.
It seems the Australian male only has the intelligence to be sarcastic all the time. I "FUCKEN" hate it !!!!!! The mask is so obvious !!!!!! The inner demon, the insecurity, the.....what do you reckon mate ? Lets fuck him up with this comment.............I'm so bloody over this shit ! So...... I speak up after my boundaries have been pushed to the limit. Then the big boss (cause of the problem) pays a visit...... "I hear you had a problem with a bucket of water yesterday mate" and I reply "Ahhh........yes that's correct" and this boofhead says to me "Its all in good fun mate" The wanker has no idea whats gone down, he's heard the story from the child like grown men. I'm not even going to bother with this anymore actually, I can't be bothered re living it !!!!
So.......onward and upward. Working under these types of conditions take their toll. I can't even feel properly. Its rather disturbing actually, and worries me a little. You see what this stuff does to you is bring you down and slowly melts your soul, the soul of a number 2, the life long path of the sensitive. Even if you are as spiritual as me, it has an effect on us all. What I can't believe is that so many people go through this every day and don't realise what it does to the soul !! Wake up.............. I'm sorry but other peoples projections of psychic vampirism don't really do it for me anymore. Not only has there been mental pain, but also physical pain. This only occurs when I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. What I'm here to be doing, "THIS" and art therapy and intuitive counselling. All this to raise more funds so that in the eyes of my psych I'm seen to be doing it properly before my next move. Yeh.......plans are in motion, and I can't wait. Although, I question why I'm going about it in this way....."The Normal Way", why not just go ????
I still don't know the answer to this ???? Everything is utter perfection while writing and healing, yet I'm punishing myself working for these goons. How and why do we continually put ourselves in the situations ??
Love, Light and Look for Answers people
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