The Noncomfortable Persists

It's still going. This incredible place of "Noncomfortableness" is still pushing up and through. Librans are having a hard time at the moment. Every day at the same time, after midday the energy rises. It comes in many forms, from itching, anxiety, frustration and all round agitation. It's been going on for days now and I'm slightly over it. You try to feel whats coming up as shadow, and face it head on for the process of integration. But it doesn't seem to be that at all. It's more energetic. It's like the sun reaches the peak in the day and once it's past a certain point it all begins again. These drastic knowings of an energy shift are becoming more easy to pick up as my sensitivity climaxes. I really don't know if that's a good thing at all. It can be a double edge sword as some of us know. To feel so deeply and acutely is both a blessing and a curse. Even typing this I want to push my fingers through the keyboard !

I have the house to myself also. That could be a contributing factor too. The utter shit can come up, and out and I can just scream it all out. The clothes basket lies in the corner, it's truly ruined, which actually makes me chuckle. I don't even know what I'm writing really, it's crap that comes from where my fingertips hit the keyboard. You can lay your bullshit out and post it into the nothingness that is the internet. I have no problem hitting publish at all. Quite the contrary, it's rather liberating to see your words and unexplained crap disappear into the web. The only way to be someone who can guide others, is to have put your own body through the shit that the person you're helping may never experience. I've found that by going deeper, much deeper you equip yourself for anything that is exposed by others in their meltdowns and energetic shifts.

For with experience comes knowledge and expertise. Stuff you can't go to any school to learn. You must bury yourself in your own pain. I mean really bury yourself. You have to make the conscious decision to go in that direction. And it's not an easy one. To go within takes courage, because the bullshit you go through in facing yourself and your shadow is truly like being skinned alive from within. How many of us truly take the time to do this work ? I know of only a few. And they are the people who are here to help others in moving through their pain whilst on the inward path. It's not a nice place, and you will never get it done......ever. But you accumulate the tools to help you get through each purge. Which in turn enables you to guide others through their difficulties.

But I must say, this particular purge is a fucking nightmare. I'm not fully aware of what it's all about yet, but I will be laying it all out here. Here is my space that I go when I can't feel my way through the void moment like now, and for the last few days. The new moon is a nightmare, that is one aspect, as for the other stuff coming up, I'm yet to decipher. I hope that this crap is being integrated and that I will pull through. I really don't even know why I typed that. The universe only gives me what I can handle, and it seems that all the void moments of late have slipped by the wayside as soon as they are dealt with . It's nice to wake up in the morning knowing a certain trigger has gone through to the cosmos and past by me. Taking all of my current crap with it. So we will see, if tomorrow brings some respite to the internal blades and their spiral of healing...