Ocean....

I surfed today at a little spot called Black Rock. It was the first surf I've really enjoyed for 5 years, they have been so intermittent it's rather sad. 

These shots were taken in 2008 in August, a long time ago ! It's taken me that long to go for one by myself. Last time I surfed a little further north from here the anxiety was unbearable !! So I suppose a hurdle was overcome today. All I've wanted to do all day is go back again, but I know that this place works better with a bit more water.....What I mean is, high tide which falls at exactly 9.43am is the go. I went out this morning for breakfast with my girl, and as it may have it the cafe was right next to a boat shed that had tide charts.... It's all happening !

I'm seriously considering purchasing a 9 foot mal from my neighbor also, he is having a clearance sale of shirts, boards and accessories right now.  Because usually here, where I live, we have small swell for most of the year. With a bigger board I will be able to have so many more waves and heaps more fun.

That's it for now, I'm going to bed early. I couldn't care less about new years eve, I CAN NOT WAIT FOR 2013 to finally end !!!!!

Peace 

 Black Rock

Black Rock

 AND "The Black Rock" I got the first time I surfed there

Well, it's been a while !  

Much has occurred and much shit has rolled under the bridge. It's now "silly" season and bloody hell is it kooky. I  don't think I've ever dealt with this many incompetent fools in all my life! I've moved house twice and the most professional person I've dealt with was my removalist. Yeh, sure you would think that I'd have more to speak of than that but I don't. Really it's pathetic ! I have the best time with my partner every day, which is fantastic but the rest of of this society quite frankly is intolerable !! Red neck hicks who think they know it all. I've traveled this country and I've traveled the world. I've also worked all over this country and overseas, but what I encounter here, truly is fucking beyond me !! "Why the fuck am I here??"

Sure, I'm completely trashed from a massive year which had me working my ass off, and it's time to whinge but I have no idea how, or why people can't raise their own bar to become more cultured or intelligent... This location truly is the place of sheep and yet again I find myself the black one !! I am so bored of not being challenged intellectually! Let's just talk about the fucken weather or the uncle who's a maintenance man but he's the best painter I've ever seen. (I don't even know how to properly type such a comment out) I'm dealing with...........well "I really have no fucken idea" !!!!

"Somebody help me"

You can tell by the standard of adverts on the box what sort of town your'e in. Good god there are some amazing pieces of crap here. And then there is the 1 quarter sized broadsheets, yep that's the papers............! "OH" and this is a beauty ! The local skate park.......hahahaha. 2 people have sued the council for 50 grand because of noise. Now, this skate park took 25 years to build, and now the council has paid out the 2 assholes in court, this amount ! The law suit took 2 years to finish !!!!!!! What the fuck is going on in the world ??? I have been to this park 5 times in 2 weeks with my old school board. Every time it's me on my own, no people, no crowds, just silence and me. Somebody.......... Help me please.....

"Please wake up"

There's going to be a bit more of this whinging for a bit until I can 'feel" properly again !

And the shots I post on the blah will be my own for a while. At the end of the day these abstract things make me feel good, cos this is how I look at the world........In a completely different way.

See ya tomoz

Enjoy..........Peace

  

Lunar followed by Solar to get us in the MIX !!

Yep !!!!!
2 eclipses later and someone help me get back to normal ! Intense, Mega, Depth, and heightened amounts of feelings that came over me during this period. An eclipse always brings to the surface the shit you'd rather not have at the surface. It was weird for me, I kinda had a lot of shit going down. According to my Astro friends the Solar eclipse was about "Letting Go". And that I did.....

So letting go.......of what ? Well for me, the crap that doesn't serve me anymore ! This can be anything really. A jumper, a favorite mug or even people. Sure....but it's usually a bit bigger than that. How about "Deserving" ? not letting go of it ! But letting go of NOT !! Yeh, "Not Deserving". I've met people who are so stuck in not deserving they only think in lack. What's with this ?? I think it's from the brainwashing we all received early on, that took away the Self Worth, Self Esteem, and the ability to acknowledge that you deserve. You deserve abundance, yet so many of us have been trained in the art of "Lack" ! What a fucked thing to teach !! But not when you want to control the masses though, oh no !! and that's just it, most peeps don't even realise, let alone ask the question....Why do I believe in "NOT DESERVING" ?? This is what an eclipse can do for you.

Let this crap go !!!!!! You deserve all, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel content and abundant. You are a beam of light and energy that is trying to awaken. Yet with so much pressure and material brainwashing we cannot break this pattern. Why is this ? The last eclipse was tiny, not even visible to the human eye, yet it tore shreds off me. The letting go thing isn't always easy to do though. How do you let go of a person you no longer vibrate with on the same level ? This is actually quite hard to do, especially if this person is or was close to you. They seem fine for some time, yet deep down you kinda knew at the start that this would not last. In my case it was a buddy, who for some time was fantastic to hang around. We were Bro's, but when people step over your boundaries and become a menace, I tend to lose interest in the friendship.

Is it wrong to get rid of someone out of your life for bringing a box of vegetables to your house when they know your fridge is tiny after asking them to just pick up a small bit of broccoli? Now this is not the only reason this guy was culled, of course it is a build up of shit over time. Yet this was the last straw !! When you ask someone to just grab a small piece of broccoli, and they roll up with the entire fruit and veg section, and then say to you that will be 45 bux............what the fuck would you do ? No way bro, I only asked for a piece of broccoli !!!!!!! Please, don't get me wrong ! This is not just over a box of fruit and veg, it always starts way back and you don't realise till you get to a space like this. Little things become apparent when you've let this flip go. How many times they actually look down on you, or belittle you in front of other people. Fuck you I say, thanks for the lessons and I am now letting you go !!!!!

Allowing things that don't serve you anymore to stay in your life is as absurd as walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain !! It could be anything, so wake up and get rid of those things. Send the item or person Love and send them on their way.

At the end of the day, what this means is you have risen your vibration to a higher level, and really can't communicate or feel properly on that level anymore.....When you let go of something, you automatically clear space for abundance. You do not create lack by letting something go !

Anyway Love and Light will always prevail 

Peace

I Can't think of a Title for THIS

So...............

Its 2am in the morning and I'm still up !! Thinking, planning, manifesting. Sometimes we all do this don't we ? I've just been out howling at the current half moon, its rather bright for a half moon actually. I enjoyed the rays beating on my head. It was cleansing and motivated me to attend to my "Blah" !

I've been quite busy working in the incorrect dimension that is the paddock where most reside, full of sheep. What a matrix it is out there. Rush, rush, quick hurry up ! Talk about fucked up, I mean really, what is going on out there ? I've just completed 3 weeks straight with a mob of children, yep children, yet these children are all middle aged and really know nothing of the inner child. All they do is project it all day, every day. I tell you I came so close to snapping, it was so hard to stay controlled while being bombarded with sarcasm all fucking day. These flips never stop and when it's time to be serious about the job the old wolf comes out and cries. You don't know when it's serious and when it's not.

It seems the Australian male only has the intelligence to be sarcastic all the time. I "FUCKEN" hate it !!!!!! The mask is so obvious !!!!!! The inner demon, the insecurity, the.....what do you reckon mate ? Lets fuck him up with this comment.............I'm so bloody over this shit ! So...... I speak up after my boundaries have been pushed to the limit. Then the big boss (cause of the problem) pays a visit...... "I hear you had a problem with a bucket of water yesterday mate" and I reply "Ahhh........yes that's correct" and this boofhead says to me "Its all in good fun mate" The wanker has no idea whats gone down, he's heard the story from the child like grown men. I'm not even going to bother with this anymore actually, I can't be bothered re living it !!!!

So.......onward and upward. Working under these types of conditions take their toll. I can't even feel properly. Its rather disturbing actually, and worries me a little. You see what this stuff does to you is bring you down and slowly melts your soul, the soul of a number 2, the life long path of the sensitive. Even if you are as spiritual as me, it has an effect on us all. What I can't believe is that so many people go through this every day and don't realise what it does to the soul !! Wake up.............. I'm sorry but other peoples projections of psychic vampirism don't really do it for me anymore. Not only has there been mental pain, but also physical pain. This only occurs when I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. What I'm here to be doing, "THIS" and art therapy and intuitive counselling. All this to raise more funds so that in the eyes of my psych I'm seen to be doing it properly before my next move. Yeh.......plans are in motion, and I can't wait. Although, I question why I'm going about it in this way....."The Normal Way", why not just go ????

I still don't know the answer to this ???? Everything is utter perfection while writing and healing, yet I'm punishing myself working for these goons. How and why do we continually put ourselves in the situations ??

Love, Light and Look for Answers people

Allowing the Void to pass.........Beautifully

Well..........

It's been a while since my last blah. This is because we tend to get lost in the Void, the place of pain, darkness, anxiety, confusion.....who am I and what am i doing here. WTF is going on on this sphere ??????? I go into this space quite regularly, and of my own choice (I allow it, rather than fighting it). This may sound MAD, and it is. But when you've had a taste of it and completed the vortex that took you there, you do come through the other side, and that light that you saw, that was but a pin prick at the end of the tunnel, suddenly becomes bigger and bigger and light flows in and around you. And ohhhhhhhh that feeling of temporary completion until we meet again in the dark. This has just occurred for me. Each time its different, different lessons, different feelings and mixed up energy and vibrations.....

Its like a bloody rollercoaster !!!!

Its like being a bird. You have wings and you fly of course, but during this period, which can last a day, a week, a month or whatever ! You are that bird, flying up in the cosmos in your own jetstream. And the void is the place where you cross over into another jetstream higher up. So, what happens is, the higher jetstream is vibration or consciousness and the universe is allowing you to make the change (because it always knows when YOU are ready) and to leave behind that place that you are at, and to move forward. But its not that easy, you fly up to that higher jetstream, which exhausts you. So you then fly straight through it, past it !! You don't judge the landing right. This continues as you try to get back to the comfort zone jetstream, the one that you came from. But no, you are going forward, not back to those things that no longer serve you. This happens over and over again, which leaves your head and soul spinning.

You know those chrome balls that are on a metal frame ? You pull one ball back and the other ball moves when it hits. You can do it with multiple balls too. This is whats happening ! You have to wait for the balls to settle down, and this is what happens with the bird, yet YOU, the bird, are doing all the work to stabilize all the shit you are going through. Sending it out to the universe, asking for help, doing your astrology, doing tarot, doing cards, pleading with the night sky to HELP !!! That's what I do when I've flown past that bloody jetstream a few times. I go and howl at the night sky saying......"Please HELP ME" !!!! Plus I look for answers. Meanwhile my whole life is in turmoil. No work, no money, living with not the perfect house mates blah fucken blah. I always push through in the end. Once its all cool again and I slowly gain confidence, the self worth starts to come back, there is heaps of work and abundance back.

Now, I'm on the higher jetsream !!!! I made the landing after the migration and all is ok. My problem is, I'm addicted to the VOID, even though it sux. But once you break through its "Beautiful"

"I can't wait for the next VOID"

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO

These are those jetstreams when you look back down at what youv'e accomplished, learned and been through, although from underneath they are nowhere near as pretty. You gotta breakthrough the VOID to FEEL this stunning vibration

Love, Light and Pass through your VOID with dignity ;-))

The Panic of Lack

You know those days when you wake up in the morning spinning out cos something hasn't occurred ? You start to freak out, worry, your chest tightens up and you are trying desperately to let it go, but its not happening ! What do you do ?

Well you can start by getting up to your usual cup of tea and cigie and try to make sense of this crap that you know is only your chatterbox going berserk, yet you seem powerless to control it. Why do we go through this stuff, doubt, lack, distrust etc ? I don't bloody know !! All I know is it sux to push through....Its painful, you think that nothing is working properly for you, what you are trying to manifest is not taking place and yet there's this tiny little glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel. But to get to that light, can take hours, even days ! This type of stuff seems to take you back to before you started learning about spirituality and how the universe works and you feel like a loser for not being able to push trough after all you have learned in regards to this stuff. Why does this happen ?

I think quite obviously its about trust, trusting that what you have asked for and tried to align yourself with, will occur. Why then DOES this occur ? Well, I'm still working on that. Is it a test ? What is it ? Or is it Ego playing with your head ? I believe its coming from a place of "Non Belief".........No that's not right, I'm not sure why it happens, I wish I knew ! Lots of my friends have said great things to me in these times. Things like "When you need it the money will come" or "Just forget about it and let the universe do its thing" Sure, that's all good, but even these people will call me with the same problems. What is it that makes us go through this crap ?

I'm yet to truly work this out, there can be reasons like, "There are things you must learn before this next stage" "Or you are not truly ready for his just yet" all the while my head spins, it spins out with all sorts of shit ! Mind you, for me I can get to this breaking point like to the top of this mountain with frustration and............"BANG"...........I'm through ! What is it that causes this kooky way of being just before it all slots together perfectly ? The pressure cookers steam keeps building and building while you nearly explode and then, on into bliss at no particular time or in no particular order. Sure its lovely when you get there, but fuck me, its awful while heading to this space of temporary contentment. (Cos we all know it will happen again)

For me it happens when you least expect it, this build up, this tense time. And then you find this picture in your downloads that you had forgotten about. Yet it doesn't really help ! It does after ! But not now, cos I read this and think, whats going on, I need it now ! In summing up, I hate these "VOID" moments but I also love them. They suck while you are in the middle of one, but when you push through things feel really good. Then you look back and go...."What was I worried about" Which is fantastic, but it doesn't really answer my question ! Why ??? Well, I reckon its a test, to find our inner strength to continue to trust the universe and learn more about ourselves.                                 

"Because"

"AND"

This is what is occurring for me right NOW  !!!

That strange pull for me is doing this, this blog and art therapy and intuitive healing and better ways of thinking. To move out of Signwriting for good, as it no longer brings me joy. Here come that "VOID" again !!

Hot Chocolate and Gratefulness

Yep.......... Hot Chocolate !

In a take away cup, in a park, in heaven !

You should see the grass in this park, its mega grass green ! The shadows from the trees change the colour bigtime. If I had my Pantone book here I could give you numbers to look up. Its quite stupendous. We have these kooky palm trees and eucalyptus everywhere. Its on a bit of a hill too. So much leafage with the closest star popping its rays through here and there, bloody hell they're nice when they hit the skin. Isn't it funny, how I can go from the bush up north to a major city such as Sydney, and still get the same blissful feelings and tranquility ! Bloody hell, 13 years ago that was impossible for me !!! The amount I have learned about myself in that time is quite incredible really....

Grateful.................. hell yeh !!

So I suppose (as that star moves its rays directly onto my chest at this park bench) that maybe today is all about being grateful !! So many are not. We all tend to overlook what we already have. We WANT this we WANT that......."Wants" have turned into "NEEDS"!! Why is this ?? I know, "GREED"....Yep, thats right, in your face "GREED". How can you manifest anything in your life if you are not grateful for what you already have ? Lets say I'm a "Bankster" and I contribute to the "GFC". I'm not using my money, I'm using Mom & Pops money, and they hand it all over to me to make it double. Sure.......conform ! Get your "Super" bangn ! Next thing, a bunch of assholes "with other peoples money" turn the globe upside down. A cocaine fueled load of bullshit that works with something that does not exist.......MONEY ! This is why i don't feel sorry for people who lose money on the stock market in "SUPER"  yeh super !! If you do all of this greedily you will be super ! WTF ?? Its all about "GREED"

What makes me laugh is that these Banksters were bailed out by their governments ! If you had a child and gave them a lolly as punishment for being naughty (their true selves by the way, open and unprogrammed) what do you think that child would do ? He or she would do it again, why wouldn't you ? So, with that, surely you can see what is happening in the Stock/Greed Market ? It will all happen again but 10 times worse, and for those of you who have it all tied up with these asshole firms, you will all be screaming once again......."Losses, Losses" Wake up, its only money ! The only reason you think you "need" more is because you have been brainwashed yet again by "THEY". Yeh.....your government !  Its everywhere, for fux sake, I've got my psychologist telling me "I" in need fucken "SUPER"............Whats with that shit ?????

So.....back to the matter at hand.. Nah hang on ! None of these people as mentioned above are "GRATEFUL"  for what they already have, when is enough enough ??

Now.....ah......., being grateful for what you have is not hard to do. You can go and sit in a park like this one and be over the moon grateful for a cup of hot chocolate, an internet connection through your HTC to your laptop, a park bench made out of the most amazing hardwood, and the rays from that big old star ! When you are grateful for little things the universe rearranges itself to bring more in anyway. This is one of the first park benches I've sat at that doesn't have durrie buts everywhere ! I always put mine in a bin or in the centre console of BB where I have an old tomato sauce jar, so therefore I'm grateful that there are none here. The rainbow lorrikeets are up in the trees whispering to me, and I'm grateful. I pulled up to this park (in Sydney) and got a car space.....bang ! How good is that. When you continue to be grateful things happen for you.

I've got friends that whinge when there is no work and whinge when there's to much work. I mean whats doing ?? Be grateful for having time off in between that work, use it to do other things that you love. Start by quietening your mind and thinking about what you are truly grateful for...

For me, being grateful allows me to become centred again and gets my body to talk to me again. With "Greed and being Ungrateful" comes panic, and lack and Lack is a place that drives greed........................Its all one big circle really isn't it, and unfortunately the mouse wheel rears it head again every morning. Back to the circle of being "WHO" you truly are "NOT"

Love, Light and Wikid Hot Chocolate and be "Grateful for what you already have"