Part Of A Renovation - Alone

The day’s of confusion, of what to move on to next, are long and frustrating. When you’ve stopped finally, after being broken open, and taken the time to look at your life from an outside perspective, it almost becomes this entity that you do not recognize. What is it ? Who is it ? Is that me ? Most humans don’t even get to this stage. The stage where there’s nothing left to do. You are hammered into pieces of what seems like dust, not chunks that are easy to put back together, but tiny little pieces of a puzzle that is you. It’s a daunting task looking at all of those bits, laying on the ground where your feet used to stand. It’s like fine powdery dust.

The rebuilding phase covers many months of healing work deep within. You deal with mirrors of yourself from others, and realize that what you see in them, can be in you too. This is truly frightening and in your face. The rebuild, or the beginning, at ground level takes the longest. To get your feet to appear again, out of that talcum dust is probably the most difficult part, it takes so long to achieve. It’s like the under ground carpark of a building, and you have to rebuild it from scratch, and it is YOU. It never seems to come out of the ground, it just crawls along at a snails pace frustrating the crap out of you. And with it comes great pain, growing pains. The steel reinforcing takes forever to be wired together. You have your pliers and wire making each bit count, awaiting that concrete pour.

This is the part of the building (you) that just menace’s you. Days and weeks and months of back breaking crap to get the stuff sorted for the concrete pour, the next bit, maybe a toe. Usually there’s more levels to the under ground carpark too. Sometimes there’s set backs because the first pour has not dried or cured properly. These are terrible times, but you can’t rush it. If you take shortcuts, you will see cracks develop in the long term. And the shadows will come back, because you’ve not integrated them properly to the outside air. You must not cut corners, especially on the foundations of that great structure…YOU. The days onsite are up and down, yet you gain a few notches, then lose a few each day. It’s laboriously hard, and there’s days where you just want to shut the site down.

The opening comes, the day where you think you are done, but there’s still a few fingers not put back completely. They lay on the ground still, in smaller, tiny grains from the trampling of your soul. Will they ever be put back completely to your entity ? Probably not. But what happens is, in the knowing that all the work you did, you made the weaker bits way stronger, so maybe, you can do without those fingers after all. The bits inside that building that you reconstructed are way more resilient than you will ever know. You are still not fully through to gaining back all you faculties like, emotions, feelings and intuition. They took a hit, but by no means are they buried in that carpark, they come back, so sensitive, so intune and acute, like never before, you blow your own mind….

There's only one way to rebuild your structure completely, properly and successfully.......

Sometimes, Being Sensitive is Hard

I'm not going to sit here typing and lie to you. This is one of the hardest things for some people to deal with. "Just let it go" "Snap out of it" " Whats wrong with you" these are just a few of the bullshit useless comments, if you become affected by an asshole of low vibrational behaviour. Some of us, just can't handle the "dilution or poisoning of our day" by a persons words or opinion's. Where did these types of things originate ? It's so hardcore to be tough and allow stuff to roll off your back in society these days. In fact , it's applauded. Compassion for other people, unless you are hardcore and able to deflect these sorts of things, does not exist. Why ? What is wrong with being sensitive to an insecure, opinionated asses comments ?? Why is sensitivity seen as a weakness ? It's the complete opposite ! It's a gift !

I believe this quote is a double edged load of crap. What does "without attachment to the validation of others" actually mean ? When you are sensitive to humans negative comments, (generally bad vibes and projection of their own pain) why is it the fault of the person that is affected by it ? What is this big thing about being the dominant figure, and being the person that inflicts the so called poison to someone who is sensitive. The sensitive ones see and feel everything. And I mean everything. They even have their own label, it's called "Empath" we are wonderful people who struggle with the darkness, negative vibration and violence of this time space reality, and the constant aggression that is projected everywhere on a daily basis. It's all around us. Next time you tell an Empath to just forget about it, think about this..... Do you tell someone with a broken leg to JUST get over it ?

Coming To The Fore

This is you. You are important, you are seeing things like you've never seen before. You are clearly becoming aware and sensitive, as to what is going on around you. You see it, but also feel it. You can't but not feel it, because it's changing everywhere. It's completely out of your control. There are stragglers, but they will catch up. You just keep feeling the paradigm shifting, eventually they will all join you. The shift is huge and is sometimes subtle and sometimes brutal. It gets you when you are quiet and alone, sitting on that couch once you've turned the programmer off and you think to yourself....What was that all about ? The issue is this...If this happened extremely quickly you would explode, your mind anyway. It has to happen slowly, but stuff that happens to go slow and draw out for to long becomes painful. When you feel it, and are aware, and have succumbed to it all, you crave progress. But the pace of it enables you to begin it......properly and with depth.

Be not concerned, as this all happens at the right pace for each and every one of us. Some of us will encounter many things that go against our entire programmed, socialized experimental ways. It will hit you in the face, that things externally do not really matter. If you get to the point, which you will, where the main priority becomes your own wellbeing before others, you will have changed for the better. You see once we take care of ourselves, then and only then, can we take care of others. You will experience your shadow coming to the surface. it will tap you on the shoulder "all" the time. Don't run to joy to fix the uncomfortable feelings of it, it wants to integrate. When it integrates it will hold nothing over you anymore. This will take some work from YOU though. To push through and acknowledge it, will be the greatest work of you life. Exposing your shadow is just like meeting the YOU that you've forgotten. There is nothing to be afraid of..........for your inner light is come to the fore.... And it's magnificent.

"YOU can not love someone unless you love yourself first"

Open Your Eyes from the Confusion

Eye's.....we all have them. Some are blue, some are brown or even green like mine. We see only what we want to see. We continue, going about our daily lives with what is fair to say, blinkers on. Some will see small things, others will see nothing whatsoever. It's not their fault really, it's how they were shown, ironically. Sight and curiosity are things that may well be used to uplift your life. For seeing nothing and lack of curiosity is like having your head in the sand. Why are we like this ?

We are like this because that is how we've been programmed. Programmed just enough to question nothing, yet only enough to run the machines. If you are curious, you may want to start doing some of your own research as to why this is, the way it is. Use a video playing place, where you can search for things like "mind control". I'm not going to give you anymore than that. This is your time to open your eyes and see whats really going on. Once you get past the bad stuff, you will realize that you now have "choice". Choice to believe what you see, and are told. Or to form your own opinion of the current state of the world.

I'm not here to tell you what to think, or do. All I'm here to do, is remind you that you have eyes and a completely capable brain..........

The Uncomfortable Surrender

We join our social sphere at birth. We spend the first 7 years being socialized. We go through our education, and then we are cast out into the place called society, but this time we are on our own. We see things that we agree with from our training, and we see things that our training never showed us. Sometimes after many years of not really fitting in to the mold, we question lots more than we accept. We move through these times looking and feeling our way. Yet, it never really feels right. We pretend we are strong, yet we long to be vulnerable. We want things to be different. None of it really makes any sense, so we wait. We continue to allow the pain to build up, which is usually expressed externally as anger. Anger is perfectly normal, and totally ok. It's the learning how to let it out quietly by yourself that is the trick. Guess what ? You were never socialized to know how to do this. Why ? Because ALL negative emotions NEVER get you praise. Unlike good emotions, where you are praised completely and ALL the time.

We allow those around us to walk all over us, and push their pain onto us. We also do the same, but most of us will ever admit to that ! We abandon ourselves by running to joy. Reason....because we are not happy with who we are. We don't fit in to the crowd, therefore we do all in our power to measure up to those who also don't really fit in. It's all an illusion ! We allow this to happen for years, hoping, praying that this insecure feeling will part. It will only part when we finally come to the conclusion that "we must surrender". Surrender is an interesting word. It basically means if you do so, you are far from good enough. Remember your socialization ? You must keep going ! If you don't, society see's you as a quitter. This is bullshit !! Surrender comes when you are nearly gone completely. You now, can hit the reset button, you've arrived at the word below....... And surrender to YOU

Into The Zone After The Light

Night fall. That time where some of us become more comfortable. That time when you can hear "them" clearly. You can properly interpret the code. The code of the true self. The vibration of humanity has silenced temporarily for you to gather your thoughts. You can truly be creative without the white noise. That epidemic of hum, that pierces the soul, disturbs it and leaves us totally off balance.

Night time, is in truth the best time. The day becomes so dark with its confusion and personal interruption and disruption. The night does the opposite. It brings some of us calmness and contentedness, a time where the injection of humanity wears off. It's a time of great alertness and sensitivity. With sensitivity comes clarity, clarity to debug the nightmare that is the day. Some will never feel this phenomena, let alone be able to embrace it.

Do you crave, the going down of the big red charge, that emanates from that huge sphere ? I do......

An Outsiders Perspective.

What are you feeling ?
Do you feel a shift at all ?
Do you sit and ponder about it all ? And think to yourself  "What on earth am I doing here ?"
Why do you find it hard when you are alone at night ? You know, you are at home, and your mind has had a chance to slightly calm down. What is it that concerns you ? Do you realize that, your brain has been overwhelmed with far to much information and stimulation ? Yet all this information and stimulation, means absolutely nothing.

It's been given to you, by those who would prefer you, to just be in an operational state, just enough to run the machines. Not to question anything, oh no ! You find yourself catching up with a few acquaintances on social media. That will help you solve your shit, so you think. But really, there is that underlying issue of emptiness. That void of not being truly for filled throughout your working day. And the realization that you have to do it all again in a matter of hours. Would you ask yourself this question ?

Why is this occurring in my life ?

Surely, there is more. Why can you only see what they want you to see ? What if you turned on a light within yourself ? What then ? Could you see things that were not so obvious ? Just by looking from a different perspective could you see through the darkness and confusion ? If you turn on a black light you can see more, as demonstrated in the image below.

So why not turn on your black light and find the answers to those questions you ask yourself every night before you start the ball rolling again in a matter of hours ?